So Excited!!

It's almost here and I'm getting really excited!! It's the week of Christmas and I can hardly contain myself in anticipation for Faith's reaction when she sees all of her presents on Christmas morning. She is starting to "get" the whole Santa thing, though I'm sure not completely. However when we wake up on Christmas morning and come downstairs to see everything--I am certain that she will be excited!

This is my favorite time of year as I've mentioned and I am really enjoying the joy and anticipation. We have some great things planned for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day at our sister's houses. We even have a fun little get together planned for the day after, so the festivities continue! I am working hard to finish up work today and hoping to take some time off to just relax and enjoy my family.

So much to do and so much to enjoy! I contend that kids are what Christmas is all about, and I am certain that Faith will make this one truly special and memorable. I look forward to a new year full of happiness that we have hoped for, GOOD THINGS AHEAD, and in the meantime plan to enjoy every minute of the holiday festivities!!

Finding Joy in the Season

So the work is steady and so is the stress, but I'm reminding myself to be grateful for it. Though I often feel overwhelmed, I'm working hard to ensure that feeling goes away when I realize how lucky I really am. Sure, the situation overall isn't ideal and there's moments where I go nuts, but as I get into the craziness of my work day I also happen to be in the same house as my little girl. I get to be there to kiss the "boo boo" better or pick her up when she just needs a hug. This is the season to remember what you're truly grateful for, and not only am I eterntally grateful for her, my husband, my mom, and all of my family and friends, but I am so grateful to be working from right here in my kitchen.

Perhaps I create my own stress sometimes--okay I KNOW that I do. Taking on cooking, baking, entertaining, shopping, and all of the other normal activities at this time of year is what energizes me. I love the hustle bustle, but when you combine it with everything else going on and working hard to meet deadlines before Christmas gets here......well let's just say that some days it makes for a perfect recipe for a mommy meltdown.

However when I get to see the look on Faith's face when we talk about Santa and be here to pick her up when she's having a bad day, it's all well worth it. That's the best part about being a mompreneur, is when you can somehow make it all work and balance it out. My new year's resolution is to continue to be grateful and work on a positive attitude across the board! And as always, wishing for GOOD THINGS AHEAD for all of us!!

Tis' The Season

I truly love this time of year, and I think that Faith is catching the bug just like her mommy! We will have packed in a total of four different Christmas events within five days as of tonight. These include a tree lighting, two parades, and a dinner with Santa. I can't get enough, and I think that Faith is enjoying every second of it. It's hard to be down or upset at this most festive and wonderful time of year, so I'm trying to apply all of that positive energy into my everyday attitude. As I think through all of the fun that we have planned in the next couple of weeks, it occurs to me how lucky we are to have such wonderful friends and family. So much to feel blessed for!

Both Jeff and I are working away, so busy and hoping that it all pays off. Though there is no new news on the job front for him, I am hopeful that the new year will bring about new opportunities. In the meantime, I'm trying to make sure that we focus on making the best possible Christmas for Faith. It's such a joy to see her reaction everytime we see Santa or Christmas lights. She is what the season is all about! She is also continuing to add new words to her vocabulary each and everyday, sometimes being our little parrot. It makes for some fun days!

I am also quite thankful for all the work that I've had in these last few stressful months. I pray that it keeps up because it's really helped to keep us afloat. Though I get stressed out sometimes, I must admit that I LOVE being a mompreneur.....and for the most part think that I'm pretty darn good at it! So for now, GOOD THINGS AHEAD and of course looking forward to a fantastic Christmas season!!

A Great Thanksgiving

Though you may be surprised to hear this, I feel as though I have a lot to be thankful for. Sometimes my rants or complaints may indicate otherwise, but I am so grateful for the many blessings that I have in my life. Though I hope, pray, and wish that my hubby finds a great job in the very near future, we are truly blessed in many other ways. We had a great Thanksgiving and I took it as an opportunity to reflect on all that we have and are thankful for. We had a really nice time with family and enjoyed watching Faith as she's really starting to get it all. Then of course I got to enjoy hitting up all the sales the next morning bright and early with all the other crazies....but I love it!

Now with the holidays in full swing, I'm choosing to be happy and enjoy my most favorite time of year. I am steady with work, hopeful for our future, and overwhelmed with joy when I look down at this beautiful little girl growing up right before my eyes. Such a fun stage! How can I be down with all the great things I have going for me? Forget the fact that I have absolutely no idea how I can possibly write a total of 64 articles this week (yes you read that correctly), it's the fact that I have the work, right? So will you find me like this next post? Perhaps and hopefully, but if not I am enjoying the season and being a happy and successful mommy and of course mompreneur!

The holidays are here, and hopefully that means GOOD THINGS AHEAD for everyone!!

All Over the Place

I'll keep it short and sweet in saying that there is nothing new to report. However Faith is talking up a storm, and is truly saying new words and putting together new sentences every day. It's truly amazing and such a joy to watch! Even when I have a bad day or when I worry constantly about our situation, just one look at her makes it better. She is such a joy, and this is such a fun stage!

I am truly all over the place, as is my workload. I have days where I'm swamped and days where I'm a bit slower, but it somehow all balances out. I have days where I worry constantly about our situation and our future, and days where I tell myself that it will all be okay. All the while I work hard to remember and repeat my mantra of GOOD THINGS AHEAD!!

Faith is making a bad situation much easier, and I feel so very lucky to have her. I am watching my baby transform into a little girl right before my eyes, and I can barely believe it. So while I may be all over the place, Faith keeps me grounded and reminds me of what is truly important in life. It is with that that I can remember that there are to be GOOD THINGS AHEAD, and she makes all things possible!! I'm just feeling the mommy love today, what can I say?!

Picking Up the Pace

Things are busy, and that's a good thing! I'm busy again, the hubby seems to be busy, and Faith is certainly busy. With the most wonderful time of the year upon us, that means a jam packed calendar and a whole lot of busy in the near future as well. I love the chaos, this is a good kind, so I welcome it with open arms. I've already taken Faith to see the Christmas trees at the mall twice, and I'm not ashamed to admit that. Within all of this organized chaos, I do still have my worries but I just keep hoping that there are GOOD THINGS AHEAD and that perhaps the new year will bring us some joy.

We are in pretty good spirits, though it of course depends on the day. Faith is really talking up a storm and has truly developed her own personality. I am so excited to share this exciting time of year with my little girl, and I can't wait to see her through all of the fun activities that are in store for our family. With that I do hope that there is some joy and some nice surprises, but somehow someway I have faith that it will happen and that it will all work out.

I try to smile everyday and have taken cues from friends that try to think of something to be grateful for each day leading up to Thanksgiving. I am grateful for my little girl, my husband, my mom, my dog, and my whole family. I am grateful for amazing friends and always fun things to do, and the laughs that come along with that. I am grateful to have developed a business that has served me well, particularly in recent months. I am grateful for a lot of things, and perhaps that needs to be a focus within all of my posts leading up to Thanksgiving. So for now, I will focus on getting healthy and staying focused in busy times as the pace picks up. Yay for that and hoping for more good things ahead!

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Yup, that's right....I'm one of those that gets super excited for Christmas as soon as Halloween is over! I'll admit that this was the best Halloween yet because Faith was so adorable and we had so much fun with her, but now that it's over I can start focusing on the most wonderful time of the year. I tried to find my all Christmas music all the time station today, but much to my dismay they aren't broadcasting it yet. I improvised and Faith and I (and daddy much to his dismay) danced to Christmas music in our living room tonight. My husband asked me what I love so much about the music and I told him I think it's the joy that it brings, the excitement of things to come, and the hope of the season and a new year. I am hopeful that all of these things will somehow bring much happiness and fulfillment our way....once and for all!

I won't lie and say that it was a fantastic weekend all around. There were some mommy meltdown moments and times when I felt like this whole situation was bringing us down as a family, but I'm moving past it. I'm trying hard to focus on the positive and look to a new day that is sure to bring us everything we want. Though I'm busy right now I don't have a ton of work coming up just yet, but I'm approaching this as a positive where an empty canvas may very well turn into a good thing in the long run. Who knows, maybe I'm onto something?! In the meantime, I look to Faith's smiling face and her chants of "mommy" to get me through the rough days, and I focus on the better days ahead and hopefully GOOD THINGS!!

Ugh, Really?

So due to my newfound committment to being positive, I won't brush today off as a bad day but rather will call it "one of those days". How can I not be happy overall when my beautiful baby girl wakes up each morning singing? It really just doesn't get much better than that! She is a true joy and though I will admit that I feel the "terrible twos" coming upon us, she is still a pretty good kid......and she cracks me up everyday!

Today was just a series of unfortunate events and sometimes it's just hard to pick yourself back up. Though I've tried hard not to let it, sometimes the situation really gets to me. I feel overwhelmed, disappointed, frustrated, bitter, and just worried that things will never get better. I know that they will and I recognize that this is only temporary in nature, but sometimes when you're going through things it's hard to gain that perspective. I try hard, I'm grateful for the work, and I hope and pray that things will change for the better....but some days it's just hard and that's all there is to it. I try hard not to let my feelings of frustration get in the way of being a mommy or of running my business, but I am human and it's hard to always brush them aside.

I really do want to be positive, not just because I made that commitment but also because I think that it just makes the days much easier and more enjoyable. That being said, today was one of those days that I will just brush off as "one of those days" and I will regroup and face tomorrow with a smile. I am on the verge of hopefully getting some good projects, and I am working to finish up the work that I've had. I know that someday I will look back at this phase and wonder how in the world I got it all done and didn't lose all of my sanity.

For now though, I am focused and hopeful for a better tomorrow. I am looking forward to enjoy more smiles and joy from my baby girl, and hoping to enjoy more work coming my way to take some of the worry away. Man, being a mompreneur is sure a tough balancing act sometimes!!

Just Around the Corner?

I feel hopeful. I feel joyful. I feel blessed. Not the usual way that I've started out my postings lately, but somehow I feel compelled to share that. I had to take a break from my writing assignments to share my very real sentiments in my ongoing online journal. I feel that somehow putting it out there like that seems to just make it real, make it somehow count for something. I am hopeful that these GOOD THINGS that I constantly speak of are just around the corner. Based on what? Nothing really, to be honest not much is putting me in that frame of mind but nonetheless I'm feeling it.

Perhaps it's because Faith is just so stinking cute right now. Her ability to pick up just about everything we say these days is so much fun. I'm just loving hearing her speak so much, say so many new words each and everyday. She's even answering our questions with a "yeah" or a "no" if she doesn't like something. It's pure joy, and such a blissful and fulfilling stage of motherhood. Everytime I think I have it all figured out, this whole motherhood journey, then something else comes along and brings me a pleasant little surprise. I can't wait to share all of the upcoming holidays with her and see what excitement and joy it brings. I am hopeful and blessed.

I have consistent work, and I feel good about that. While I am always a bit skeptical and anxious, I am somehow compelled to feel that I'm doing okay. I keep plugging along, getting work here and there and somehow keeping up. I still worry about making deadlines or getting good reviews, but I feel quite proud of the work and success that I've accomplished in my efforts and hard work. There's a reason that I was brought to this profession, and I am actually making it work. I feel good about that!

I feel like something good, or really great is going to happen for my husband and for our family. I don't know when, though I hope it is soon. I feel like it's our turn, like good things must be coming our way. We are so truly blessed in so many ways, and all I can hope is that these feelings of gratitude and happiness can sustain and turn into something truly wonderful and fulfilling for my husband and for our whole family. So with that, I will do my best to keep this positivity going strong!

Trying to Smile

It's been a ROUGH week, there's no other way to put it. As the week started out it was evident that it was going to be a challenging one and it hasn't really let up ever since. Faith has roseola which means a rash all over her body. Seems to bother me more than her, but still nothing that I would wish on my poor little girl. We started off with her sleeping on me all one night, and it's just gone from there. Fortunately she seemed fine early on in the week and we had our parenting group over, and that was as much fun for the adults as it was for the kids in their costumes.

I've been working hard as usual, trying to make a dent in the freelance world and in the finances. The dear hubby continues to work tirelessly to find something, anything that will get him back into the working world. I won't lie...when we hear about new people finding opportunities all the time, we are happy for them but still wondering why it hasn't happened here yet. We keep hoping and praying that somehow something will come our way....but nothing so far. We feel somehow positive today, no real explanation for it but we're doing our part to keep a smile on our face. Faith deserves that, and after the week that we've had and a rushed trip to the pediatrician's night owl clinic upon discovery of the said rash, we need to keep everyone's spirits up.

As I sit here and contemplate where the next batch of work will come from and how I will sustain this level of activity, I am grateful. Never would I have imagined a year ago that I would have this level of activity through my freelance work. Thank God that I have it, and that I've really made a go of my freelance career. I can only hope that I can keep it going as I move forward, for now as we need the money and moving forward as I want to really make something out of myself. I want to look at my efforts and be proud of the work I've done, and hope that I can serve as a positive role model to my daughter (and hopefully future children) to prove that you CAN do it and that you CAN have it all! So hoping and praying for GOOD THINGS and in the meantime, just trying hard to smile!

Give Me Something Good!!

I won't lie, I'm in a bit of a downward spiral right now! Nothing new, just the current circumstances getting me down. I'm plenty busy, but just feeling so low right now. I keep trying to pick myself up by saying GOOD THINGS, but it doesn't seem to be helping. I suppose that it's natural to go through days and stages like this amidst a pretty crappy situation, but I hate it when I can't seem to pick myself up right now. I'm down on everything.....and I need to change it around soon.

I suppose that I have to look at my blessings....first and foremost Faith of course! I must say that since our trip she has picked up A LOT of new words and is repeating a ton. I listened to her actually repeat most of the letters in the alphabet yesterday and nearly fell off my chair. She's my cutie pie, seriously my little "angel baby" as I tell her each and every night before I put her down to sleep. We're having fun with her, but I worry about how we will be able to provide for her in the future or what this awful situation is going to mean for us in the future. I just hope that it all works out, most especially for her sake.

I also need to remember and look at the fact that I haven't had to bid on a new job in weeks. That has NEVER happened in my freelance writing career. It tells you just how busy I am, and though I am grateful I would be lying if I didn't report that I've had a couple of mommy meltdowns under the pressure. Perhaps it all just gets to me sometimes, but it's a whole lot to take in. I miss the days when I would spend a couple of hours on work or simply work through nap time and then enjoy the rest of the day with her. I am suffering through what I am sure many moms struggle with.....the balance! I love the work and am certainly grateful for the funds right now, but I hate to miss precious moments with her---even if I am thanfully still in the same house as her.

So I write today in hopes of getting a sign, of finding that there is something wonderful ahead, praying that one of these days something great is going to happen and that we can get back on our feet and again begin to hopefully enjoy a bit of normalcy! Oh I so hope it happens soon and I can actually be me again!

We're Back.....and We Did It!!

So we are back from our big trip to ATL.....and it went AWESOME!! My baby girl did GREAT on the plane both ways and had an absolute blast playing with her friend Ella all weekend long. We had such a great time catching up with some amazing friends, and packed a lot in. It was a dream of a trip and I am so glad that it all worked out. I think that Faith had just as much fun as we did! I feel so very fortunate to have found such a wonderful friend in Sarah and her family, we are really lucky to have such good people in our lives. Faith was pure entertainment, laughing and talking up a storm, and she really learned a lot from Ella. We hit the aquarium, a laser and fireworks show, had some great meals and drinks of course, and just enjoyed time hanging out. Faith has even learned "please" and "thank you" so that's fantastic!! It was perfect! Most certainly hard to come back to reality for sure!!

So nothing really new to report. We are both happily working away on freelance work. A bit disappointed on not hearing back on some of the full time positions that have sounded promising, but trying hard not to give up hope. It's tough some days, but we're doing our very best. It was nice to get some time away and come back refreshed, but it's going to be a crazy couple of weeks. I keep telling myself the usual GOOD THINGS, but with no real action as of yet, it does get hard sometimes. We both keep trying to pull each other up, and hopefully we can maintain that. In the meantime, the freelance work does help a lot even if it means we are like crazy maniacs sometimes. I swear that I see my husband even less now that he's home all the time....who would have ever thought? So I will keep up hope that by the time of my next post that we will have some good news (Oh God, please!!). In the meantime, I am so grateful for such a great visit with such wonderful friends! It was truly just what we needed!!

Gearing Up....Hoping for Good Things!!

Okay how does it go...."I think I can, I think I can, I think I can....."! We are living in a time of organized chaos in this house, but all in a good way. We both have a lot to keep us busy right now, which is all great in the end. However as we prepare for our first big plane trip with Faith, it's making for some late nights and tight deadlines. Yikes! We're so grateful for the work and experience, but hoping that this is all further indication of GOOD THINGS AHEAD!!

Nothing new to report, but I can honestly say that I've never felt so overwhelmed with deadlines as I do right now. I'm switching gears between natural detoxification articles and career description articles, so it's interesting to say the least. We are working well as a team, and THANK GOD FOR MY MOM!!! Faith has been in good spirits and just awesome lately, so that's helpful.

We went in for her 18 month check up (a bit delayed) and my 20 month old little girl is already over 23 pounds. Light by comparison to others, but I'm just amazed at what a big girl she is. She is soooooo much fun right now, keeping us laughing and in constant amazement. Her vocabulary has grown exponentially, almost overnight. She's saying so much and understanding so much, it's really remarkable. I think she senses that we're going to do something big as we keep telling her about the airplane, but I'm anxious to see how she does. Hoping it's a smooth flight both ways on all accounts!

So I'm going to keep building momentum, keep forging ahead, and keep hoping that there are GOOD THINGS AHEAD........and hoping that they come soon!!

Heading Up

Okay okay, so I'm back on the positive train and trying to stick with it! I am busier than I've ever been, just swamped! Crazy and frustrating at times, but yet so good for our finances of course!! My dear hubby is hard at work on a couple of freelance projects and we are keeping our fingers crossed that this all turns into something. He's still hard at work on the job search, but this is something to get us by for now. One day at a time!

I feel an energy that is hard to describe. I'm hopeful that it's an indicator of good things ahead because I feel good, we all feel good. I hope it keep up and that we're just building momentum for good things ahead. (my motto these days!) I'm trying to smile more than frown, and laugh instead of cry. Today was a hectic but good day, and I'm hoping for more of those!!

Faith is just a BLAST right now!! Truly this is my favorite phase so far! Her vocabulary has grown leaps and bounds, she seems to say several new words each and everyday. We had a doctor's appointment today and as they took her stats, I looked down to see a little girl standing before me.....she's no longer a baby! I can hardly believe that my baby girl is going to be 20 months tomorrow, it's just insane how quickly the time truly goes!! She's doing new things all the time--singing, taking care of her babies, saying new words like "sit", "Madison", "Sarah", "cute" and so many more. She's just our joy, so full of smiles and kisses--I feel lucky to be her mom every single day!!

We are heading to Atlanta next week to see our BFF's Sarah, Ella Anne, and Neal. We can't wait, though we are a little nervous for the plane trip. Hoping that it all works out and that we can enjoy some time with our close friends!!

Hoping to keep this positive momentum going and to enjoy some GOOD THINGS AHEAD!!!!

Healthy New Outlook...Quite Literally

It's a new week and that means a new outlook....and this is a healthy one, all around! I am working on what is sure to be my most important job yet, because this one truly counts. I am working with an amazing author to help promote a book that I truly believe in, and this is the type of writing that moms like me dream about. Being able to combine my writing skills with a cause that I care about as a mom is the very best mix I can possibly imagine! How to Create a Green Home for Your Baby on a Budget is lifechanging for moms like me who want to create the healthiest possible home for their baby. The website can teach you what this means and share some key facts that will really get you thinking: http://www.healthybabyhappyhome.com/

Let's be honest, we're all watching our expenses right now--I certainly include myself in that as well for obvious reasons! However we're often torn as we dont' want to compromise the things that are important to our baby's health for the sake of saving a few bucks. Fortunately this book sheds light on how to create the healthiest possible environment for your baby, and you can do it all at a very reasonable cost. That's a win-win as far as I'm concerned. I just love what this book has to say and more importantly, I've taken a long hard look at what's going on inside my own home. I want the very best for Faith as any good mom does and that means some changes, many of which are quite simple and very affordable. Well worth it in every sense of the word!

So what a great way to start off the week indeed! I am thrilled to share my newfound knowledge and what I believe to be an excellent tool for moms of all walks of life. I wish I had known during pregnancy what I know now, but fortunately it's never too late to take these important measures. I just know that this job came to me for a reason, and I am ready to shout from the rooftops just how every mom can take better care of their babies!

Keeping My Chin Up

I know, I know--I am just all over the place! One day my post is focused on all the icky things going on and the sentiments associated with them, and the next I'm saying how positive I'm trying to be. It's a tough balance but I'm really trying! I'm doing my very best to stay positive and to keep my chin up. That's where I'm at.......for today at least!

We had a great holiday weekend and birthday celebration for the hubby. Faith seemed to really enjoy singing "Happy Birthday" and hanging out with all of our friends. It was nice to get away from the stress for a change and to enjoy some downtime, very much needed! It's not that the stress of our current situation ever really goes away, but at the very least it minimizes sometimes. It's nice to focus on the positives and be thankful for what we do have!

So today starting off a new (and short) work week, I am doing my best to keep my chin up, my head held high, and to stay positive. I am working away with all the work I have right now and staying thankful for it, hoping it continues. (within reason) I am focused on all the wonderful blessings our family has and for all the amazing friends and family we have. I keep praying that none of our worst fears come true and that somehow, someway, we can ride this storm to much better things ahead.

Talk to me tomorrow and I may be on a different page, but for now that's where I'm at and am doing my best to stick with it for the long term. Now can all that positive thinking and sentiment please pay off somehow? PLEASE!!!

Overwhelming Stress

I keep telling myself that it will all get better. It has to, right? Yet I sometimes feel like the world is working against me. Instead of things getting better they either stay the same or get worse. It's so hard not to give into this. I try each day to start out with good intentions and pray for some good things, but nothing happens. Rather than improving, it seems that the weight of the world continues to build on my very heavy shoulders.

Nothing new in the job world for the hubby. It can be very frustrating some days and this is one of them! I try not to let it get me down, but sometimes it just seems more than I can bear. I also received one of the worst criticisms that I have to date from a client. How can you not let it all get to you after awhile? How can you start off each day with hope only to have it bet met with disappointment? I'm really struggling right now and it seems that each week it just gets harder.

Thank God for Faith or I'm not quite sure what I'd do. She is my glimmer of hope in a pretty crappy world right now. She keeps me smiling and with her new found skill of singing, she makes me eternally happy. No matter how hard the day is or how tough things may seem, she always seems to make them better.
Her growing vocabulary now includes:
nore, bath, shoes, more, cup, dog, cookie, mama, dada, pool, hi, bye, baby, book, cat, nana (grandma), bellybutton (an attempt at the word), out, no (that's a big one right now), chair, and on and on the list goes! It seems that she's trying to say something new everyday!
She's also learned to repeat what all the animals on the farm say so that's really fun to listen to!

I know how truly blessed I am to have her, and that's what keeps me going on days like this. I try to reming myself of that but sometimes it's tough. There are some days that I feel as though
I'm not the best mom I could be because of the stress. Oh how I wish it would get better and we'd see brigher times in the near future. I keep hoping but sometimes this overwhelming stress just gets the best of me.

Hoping for a very bright future and some good things to replace the stress!

Hoping for Good Things

It seems that my mantra these days is "good things, I need good things". Some days it works and others days not so much. This wasn't the best overall week on record to be honest. Perhaps it had to do with the fact that I tried my best to maintain a positive attitude which ended up making me feel disappointed and let down when all was not rosey. Perhaps it's because we're still waiting for some really great things to happen so that we may get our life back in order. It might have to do with the fact that I feel as though I am working non-stop with no real end in sight to things as I work to support my family. While I'm happy for the work (and I really am), I feel jipped as though it is taking time away from being with Faith. It's just tough all around!

We do have some great blessings to be thankful, namely Faith, and I keep remining myself of all of these things all the time. Hard not to smile when she looks at you, but yet it can make my constant seat at the kitchen table in my home office that much harder to sit at. All I can hope is that all of this effort and the positive thinking (that may come and go at times) will pay off and that there will in fact be "good things ahead". I am so grateful for the work, eternally thankful for Faith, and will do whatever I can to keep our family and happiness intact. Sure it's super hard sometimes and makes me feel beaten down when the weeks don't seem to change or improve at all. However I will just keep working away, looking at Faith to remember what it's all about, and above all keep telling myself and believing "better times ahead".

Savoring the Little Things

I am learning to really appreciate the little things in life, sometimes that's all you've got to hold onto! The way that Faith sings along to "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" when I rock her every night. Getting some awesome fresh produce from the farmer's market. A good laugh with my husband. A caring hug from my mom. Even just fun times spent with friends. I'm learning to really appreciate that these are the things that life are about. Even if it's hard to see it sometimes, that's what make regular days into good ones.

I won't lie.....this week had some rough moments as we continue to try and perservere over a tough situation. I had some definite mommy meltdown moments and questioned my abilities as a writer and a human this week. For the rough spots though there were some great ones. So I'm trying to take a little bit from every experience and learn from it. That's what it's all about and that is what I owe to Faith to be a good mom and role model. She gives me not only joy and inspiration as I try to take joy from the tiniest things in life.....like bubbles or a song!

Faith and I are signed up for "school" this fall, we'll be taking a class together and I can't wait! We have some great things to look forward to and I'm strangely content though the one thing that we of course need is for a good job to come my hubby's way. For some reason, I feel strangely optimistic right now. Not based on anything at all but hope, I feel like something big is about to pop to the surface for us. I sure hope I'm right as that would make life feel really great right now!! But for the time being, I will do my best to savor the little things and work like hell to make deadlines for all of the work I've taken on. Hey, that's something to be grateful for too right now!

Managing the Stress....Or Am I?!!

There are some weeks that are good and others that aren't. Right now it's kind of a mix of somewhere in the middle. Here's where I stand:

*No movement on the job front for the hubby. Trying to stay hopeful but some days it is just downright difficult. We want to remain positive and hopefuly that something will come along, but so far no real movement. I swear though that this man is doing everything that he can to make something happen. That has to work out in the end, right?

*Some good constant work for me. Let's hope that this trend continues even if I can feel the calluses developing on my hands from all the time logged at this laptop. I LOVE the work and am so very grateful for it right now, but am not sure that I can see myself working as this chaotic pace forever more. To be honest, I'm working harder than I was in my Corporate job. Oh the stress.....but yet the rewards doing it on my own!

*Faith is ADORABLE but surely a toddler. She's saying something new everyday, picking up all sorts of new things, and keeping us smiling. She's also cutting a couple more teeth, not sleeping so great, and eating is not a favorite pasttime. I have to remind myself even at times like this that the difficult phases will pass and that I need to enjoy the good stuff. Sometimes hard given our stressful situation right now, but I'm sure trying!

*All in all very lucky for many things. Amazing family, great friends, a very active social life even amidst where we are right now, a roof over our head, and the ability to pay our bills and put food on the table. I have to sometimes remind myself that this is all something to be grateful for and remember even when I get super stressed. So in the spirit of that I am taking time out from the hectic day to post this out of gratitude and a rememberance that I need to be thankful and happy for what I do have instead of always focusing on what I don't.

Hoping for some good news as time carries on, hope with me my friends!!

Waiting for Something to Break

So my attitude has been skewed towards positive this week. Not for any particular reason, but I just look at it as something has to break at some point, right? I mean we can't go on like this forever, he will find a job. I keep telling myself that something is going to break soon and hoping (and praying) for good things. We'll see how long I can keep this up and if it ends up being contagious enough to rub off on my hubby. So far though, so good!

We had a wonderful weekend away which we needed. We headed to the west side of the state to see my brother and enjoyed some nice time with him and as a family. It wasn't a big getaway but it was sure nice to put the stress and the constant tie to the computer aside for a day or two. You can see from the picture how happy we are, cute little family enjoying each other's company. Faith was very pleased to spend time with Grandma and Uncle Gene too! She even went an entire day without a nap and was AWESOME!! She did great on the car rides so you can't really ask for more than that.

I am happy to report that I've picked up some new jobs lately and still working with my regular clients so all is well on the work front. Hoping that it continues! I of course always have the difficult clients but the good ones make up for that and I'm thrilled to have the work. The hubby is trying to break into freelance work too and I remember how it took me awhile, so I'm confident that he will do great with it once he gets going.

So hoping that this positive attitude will pay off and good things are ahead!!

Keep With It

I'm happy to say that I've got some MAJOR work right now.....and hoping that it keeps up that way!! It certainly takes some pressure off of our current situation and hopefully gets me in with some great clients that become regular fixtures. That's the hope at least! In the meantime, I'm writing until the calluses form and hoping that it gets us through this rough patch. Oh please let this only be a temporary rough patch!

No news to report though I will say that the hubby is doing everything in his power to find the right thing. I'm really impressed by his persistance and ability to get involved with so many different activities. I know he's doing everything he possibly can and I can only hope that it will pay off and land him something just phenomenal. Here's hoping!

Faith is adorable and fun as usual......with the tantrum thrown in and there. I called one of my BFF's in a panic yesterday asking her for advice on how she's handled things with her almost two year old because it would seem that we're getting a taste of the "terrible twos" prematurely around here. Luckily it's not all the time and she's just so cute and fun that these little outbursts are easy to overlook. We're heading up to see Uncle Gene this weekend and hoping that she does well and we can all have a great time!!

My hope is that the next time I post we have some good news. Oh how I wish!!!

Mind Over Matter

So I was already feeling like we needed to instill some positive thinking back into our lives....and then it was reiterated at Church. We heard a homily that might as well have been customized for us talking about how the negativity can attract the same thing. Anyhow, the long and the short of it is that we need to start thinking and acting in a more positive manner. Not that we have any reason to feel more positive right now--no job offers, I'm wrapping up with some projects and hoping for more, nothing particularly special but we're going to try it.

I've noticed that Faith has started to act out a bit lately with some shrieks (that are simply ear piercing!) and tantrums. It could be totally coincidental but it seems odd that this behavior has come about as we are in this slump. So yet again you learn the lesson that you will do ANYTHING for your kids and to be positive doesn't cost a thing but if it makes a good difference in her life, then I'm all for it!

I had a VERY nice birthday--I woke up to the hubby cooking my fave breakfast and was then sent immediately with coffee in hand to a mani pedi. So nice and relaxing! We spent a nice day together and then finished with an amazing meal out, some wine, and a movie. Perfect!! So I am grateful and starting out the week on that positive note.

Let's hope that this is a good week full of positive and wonderful things!! I hope that this new way of thinking makes a big difference for us overall and allows us to enjoy things a bit more!!

Stuck in the Middle

Another day another issue, I feel like there's just something always going on right now. We had some great and much needed family time today but I feel like we are just STUCK! Stuck waiting to hear from a few possibilities for my work, stuck waiting for a couple of maybe could be possibilities for Jeff, and just stuck. I'm just not the most patient person as the world as those close to me know so this is just an awful game. I keep thinking that something will break, something HAS to break, right? Ugh, I just keep telling myself that there's something positive coming our way. Not that today brought anything bad, but some good stuff would be a welcome change!

In the meantime, Faith keeps us going each and everyday! She is saying so much right now, really picking up words and actions at such an amazing rate. I'm loving this phase in spite of the temper tantrums. I will admit too that sometimes when she becomes a drama queen, I laugh. Literally laugh out loud! I can't help it, it's just too silly not to laugh at. So that helps to get me through the rough patches and moments of sheer frustration.

My hope is that by my next post I'll have something good....something positive please come my way!!

My Little Sunshine

She's back! My sweet little girl seems to be herself again, well mostly. She's not sleeping well as she keeps sitting up in her crib and crying until mommy keeps running to the rescue. All of a sudden she's just fine when mommy holds her, but then screams in terror when she's left alone. Part of hand-foot-mouth? Um no, thinking that it's teething and a whole lot of separation anxiety. Poor thing! I feel terrible that she feels left alone.....BUT I also can't keep running in there every hour on the hour. I can only drink so much coffee in a day to wake up!

So it would seem that our little sunshine is back, let's hope she stays this cute and amazing for a long time....and well!!

Wish that I had good news to report on the job front. Nothing, not a single thing! It's one of those days where it's getting to me but I'm trying not to give in. I'm just working away on my own stuff and hoping and praying that somehow something works out. Ugh! At least I have my little angel back, yeah for that!!

Okay Enough Already!!

As if we didn't already have enough going on, yesterday the little darling woke up with a fever! It was quite the fever but after a little Baby Motrin all was well. Fast forward to lunch with family and all of a sudden my fiesty little toddler fell asleep in my arms at a busy restaurant. Red Flag--something is wrong! Off to the Night Owl clinic we go and the diagnosis is as follows:

-Another Ear Infection

-Teething Hell

-HAND FOOT MOUTH DISEASE---Are you kidding me?!!!

So the poor little thing has sores all in her mouth, to the point that she just drools and can't even really open her mouth. We're hoping by mid week that she'll feel better but so far it's not so much fun for anyone. I feel terrible when she's sick, I feel so helpless as she has those sick eyes and looks all droopy! This may be something that I have to write regular reports on this week because if somebody would have told me that we would be dealing with unemployment and all of the issues that go along with it, a chaotic schedule for the hubby and I, new and less insurance, AND a sick baby I wouldn't have believed it!

I'm waiting to hear on a couple new projects......fingers crossed! In the meantime I'm working to finish up some existing work and find time to just take a deep breath. Life is crazy but I keep telling myself that it HAS to get better, right? I need some reassurance because there are moments in all of this that I seriously need to refrain from a full on meltdown (mommy and otherwise). Oh and to add to how this all transpired yesterday---we got home from the Kid Rock concert at 2:30am!! So when her sweet little cry came bellowing out at 6:15am, I thought that I might just fall over on the spot. That will teach me to act like I'm twenty-something again!!

So more updates to come and fingers crossed for some good stuff this week---we REALLY need it!!

High Moments in the Midst of Chaos

Faith had a doctor's appointment this morning and though all is well, she has such a flair for the dramatic. I swear, the child cries if a doctor even looks at her. I play the part of doting mother as she starts to scowl but I don't think that she will ever be a fan of these appointments. The minute that the nurse rubbed the alcohol on her leg for her shot she went into a fit.....but we survived! She's having one of those days as the sheer mention of eating starts to cause her to frown, but with the bad comes the good. She's still 21.5 pounds of pure adorable and my little angel!

Good news of all good news......Jeff passed his final exam! That's right, my man is offically a licensed architect! We couldn't be happier and I couldn't be more proud after years in the making. The only thing that would make us happier is if he had a job, but we're hoping that comes in time. We can only hope that one of these leads turns into something real and tangible. Keep praying and thinking positive, right?

Another day, more highs and lows...above all more amazing time with the little one. If it weren't for Faith, the days would be so miserable. So even when she starts to exhibit early signs of the terrible twos, I remember how very special she is and how lucky I am to be her "mama"!

Keeping the Faith

Yes I know it's just too cute when I used this old cliche considering that my daughter is named Faith....simply adorable! Faith is absolutely what keeps us going on the worst of days so it's only fitting that this cliche uses her very name. We received the VERY good news that Jeff passed his final licensing exam today. So exciting as it's been over 6 years in the making. Big accomplishment for him and I am so very proud of him! A bit bittersweet as I know that he would have loved to have a great job to be in and celebrate this feat, but something worth getting excited about nonetheless.

The job search still carries on but we are trying to keep the faith. He's looking at different avenues and perhaps a freelance type of basis, but nothing just yet. We are trying hard to stay positive and to pray even when it feels like life is beating on us. I am learning not only to celebrate the little things in life through all of this, but also that no matter how much of a planner you are you sometimes have to just roll with things. This is a hard one for me to learn but I'm sure trying!

I am happily working away on some great projects right now and praying that this continues. I'm happy to be working with some existing clients and some new ones and just hope that I can keep it all going somehow. In the meantime, we're trying to do our best to enjoy summer and being together whenever we can. Life feels so much busier with this new twist and turn but it is definitely making us appreciate each other and what we have that much more.

Trying So Hard

We are trying so hard to stay positive, though at times it's hard. I will say that the biggest and most important motivator to us right now is most definitely Faith! Without her, days would be a lot harder to get through and our will to stay positive and stay strong in this difficult time would be highly unlikely. I feel as though both Jeff and I are so busy these days, him looking for work and me trying to complete more work and what ties us together and keeps us intact is that sweet little smile. Just a simple word or sound from Faith can make a bad day so much brighter and I will always be eternally grateful for her no matter how tough times may get! She is truly our one blessing when it feels like everything else has failed in life.

I am happy to say that I have been given some great projects that really helped to take the worry about of things just a bit. Not that what I do will ever have us rolling in the money, but it certainly helps with the stress of it all at times. I'm not saying that some of the articles that I write are glamorous by a long shot, but they all help me to build and diversify my experience and knowledge, and they help to pay down some of the bills in the meantime. So even though I feel as if I have a permanent seat at this kitchen table working on projects of all sizes, scopes, topics, and mediums, I am eternally grateful to be here doing this and be around to see everything that Faith does in a given day. May we be blessed enough that I may continue to do this! We are still overwhelmed by the support and love of our family and friends. I've decided that when all is said and done and WHEN (not if) Jeff finds a good job, I will be throwing a big huge party to celebrate and to thank all of those who are so close to us and who love us in the great times and the awful ones too!

A Little Help from My Friends

I won't lie and say that our situation is any better, it's not. It's still difficult and trying and slow to move in the right direction. We alternate between days of optimism and positive thinking to feeling so down in the dumps that we can't figure a way out of our current misfortune. I think it's taught us both not only to lean on each other and to always have a "Plan B", but also that we have the most amazing support network that anybody could ask for. They say you find out very quickly who your true friends are when you go through a crisis and that has never been more true. We simply have the most amazing family and friends who are doing everything they can think of to be there for us, even if it's just to listen or to check in on us. Even those that I would never expect such acts of kindness from are really showing their true colors as friends. We're very lucky in that respect--that's got to count for something, right?

I was lucky enough to land some good jobs which helps a lot. It will help in paying a few bills, certainly won't make up for the money lost or the benefits at all, but it's something I suppose. I'm working my butt off and hoping that it pays off for us. Same with Jeff, he's working so hard on the job search and ways to really get creative but it's hard sometimes to feel like we're just spinning our wheels. We are hoping for better days ahead somehow, but it's a long and tough road. All I know is that we are so very lucky to have some of the wonderful people in our life. That's got to mean something positive lies ahead of us, right?

Give Me Strength

So the very worst case scenario happened with Jeff's job on Thursday....he was rather unexpectedly laid off. It really sent us both reeling and we're doing our very best to deal with it and to somehow stay strong, though admittedly it is really tough. It's really hard to understand why this is happening and though I do somehow believe that there's a reason and that we will discover what that is later on, right now it's just a lot to contend with. We're being resourceful and each doing our part to keep our family running smoothly. Fortunately Faith is still young enough that she's not entirely sure of what's going on just yet, which is good. I pray that we figure this out soon, especially before she is old enough to get it. It's a scary state of affairs and I pray that we can get back to normal as soon as possible.

Fortunately Faith has been such a good girl and so easy going--it's almost as if she knew what was happening. She's such a blessing, such a little angel and really one of the only things that is keeping us going right now. We do everything for her and for our little family and hopefully we will be blessed with something great and be able to put this scary chapter behind us. She's keeping us smiling and laughing constantly which is the greatest gift ever!

I'm doing my part to really try and step up my work efforts, to really try and drive more writring business for myself in hopes of supporting my family. I want to do my part and pray that I will continue to work in this capacity. I would be lost without my little angel next to me each and everyday and pray that somehow this will all end up okay and that I can continue to be the one who takes care of her and does everything for her each and every day. Suffice it to say that I will never complain again and will do my best to really appreciate all of the blessings that I have. Amazing how a tragic setback can make you really stand up and take notice. I hope that all the prayers we have with us and all the hard work turns int something truly wonderful. That we can stay happy and together as a family, because really that's the most important thing!

The Little Things

What a great weekend! I always appreciated the weekends when I was working at an office full time, but now that I have a family of my own I appreciate them so much more. I just love when we can spend quality time together and to capture all the precious memories with Faith. We fit in a bbq with good friends, a day at the zoo, and a family graduation party. I feel so very grateful when we can all share special times like these and it seems that Faith values our time together too. I feel so very lucky and try to hold onto these memories so that I have them at the forefront of my mind when a rough day comes upon me.

I have another new project which is just great, even with a repeat client so that always makes me feel better. I'm working away and trying not to take on too much as the weather makes it too hard for both Faith and I to stay couped up inside for too long. It seems that this little girl is taking after her mommy and daddy in that she loves to be outside. So while I'm working to contribute as always through my work and to keep my name out there as a preferred provider, I am trying to really balance it out so that we can continue to enjoy days at the zoo, the park, and even the pool if it keeps warming up. It's hard enough to be inside when you work in an office, but when you have a sweet little girl pulling on your leg and sweetly saying "out" it's pretty hard to turn that out. That burst of excitement and little laugh when we get outside makes keeping a realistic workload a major priority these days. I can only hope to keep up with the quality of assignments that I am working on right now with the quality of clients that I have--doesn't always go that way but for now I'm cherishing the little things as long as I can!

Reflection Time

As today is my mom's birthday, I take time to reflect on how truly blessed I am to have not just such an excellent help and support system in her, but also as to what a great role model she is to me. My mom is my best friend and has always been there for me, but has taught me how to be a good person and a great mother. I strive to be like her and find myself getting disappointed when I don't live up to what I saw in her growing up. On days where I feel overwhelmed with everything, I try to think of everything my mom had to overcome with being a single parent to me for twenty-five years. She encompasses what a good mother is and should be and I find that I learn something new from her all the time. We are all very lucky to have her! I am honestly not sure how I would stay afloat without her, and I hope to never find out.

Faith is walking and talking up a storm. This is a very trying stage but also a very rewarding stage. She's saying so much now with "cat", "car", "ball", "dog", "hat", "monkey", "cup", and quite a few more words being added recently. I am amazed at how much she picks up and how loving she can be. I feel truly blessed and even when she tries my patience by continuously throwing food or her cup or her spoon on the floor, or hitting the dog over and over, I remember how lucky I am to have her. I will admit that I sometimes need to leave the room and take a deep breath for a second, but that's all part of being a mother I suppose. She makes me laugh everyday and that's a gift!

I quit my first freelance job and I feel relieved. Sure the money would have been really nice and helpful and for that reason I felt terrible and guilty but I must say that this guy was a real "class act" and was costing me more in my sanity than he would have paid me for the full assignment. So mark that up as a first for the freelance career and it is my hope that he is replaced with another excellent assignment. Until then, I will enjoy a little bit of slow time (whatever that is) and look forward to some family fun time.

Picking Myself Up

Friday did not contain some of my best mommy moments. I had a very difficult client to deal with that was turning me into a bit of a monster. I wrote version upon version of the same piece, only to be met with sharp criticism and a slew of edits. As one of the best skills I gained in Corporate America was a tough skin, I can usually take this all in stride. However I had finally reached my breaking point--I was just done! I put on my happy face and did my best to muddle through but this project was taking the best of me, and to be honest was not allowing me to focus on Faith or spend time with her as I should have been. The good news is that the project has finally come to an end (thankfully) and now I can focus on the priority at hand--my sweet little girl.

Things came to a head Friday when I felt myself getting frustrated as Faith awoke "too early" from a nap, infringing on my work time. It was at the moment that I got irritated at her sweet little cry on the other end of the monitor that it dawned on me--I need to find work life balance, even in a career that allows me the amazing ability to work at home with my daughter. I'm lucky, I'm blessed, I'm eternally grateful--but if I don't work it right, I'm also working through breakfast time with Faith, every moment of naptime, every night, and most of the weekend. Even for me, finding a healthy and normal work life balance is essential. I learned that after some tears and a bit of a mommy meltdown that caused me to wake up and figure out what makes for a workload condusive to my situation.

Back when Faith slept most of the day, more work may have been feasible. These days however when I have a toddler in tow and here, there and everywhere, I need to be realistic about the work I can take on. Jeff took what we were PRAYING is his last exam so that should help, but the reality is that I'm home because I want to be here for every first moment, word, milestone, laugh, and in order to do so I just need to be honest with myself about my expectations and workload. I am a mother and wife first and foremost, and followed closely by a freelance writer working hard to make my very own business work for me. I know that I can do it all with grace, but sometimes not so much with ease. Anybody who tells you that the newborn phase is the hardest surely doesn't have a toddler or remember those trying times of limit testing.....but these are also the most rewarding times and I plan to cherish every moment of it.

So mommy meltdown be gone, I am ready to take on the work at hand, work towards some realistic goals, and continue to be a great mom and exceed my client's expectations. I am back to it and I can do it all, the right way!

Staying the Course

Okay we are now officially part of the parent club. It seems that every mom that I know happens to have a zoo membership and we are part of this elite group and loving it. We just went for our second trip to the zoo in less than a week and Faith really seems to enjoy it. Mommy does too as it's a nice outing to enjoy and of course some good exercise to walk through there and push the stroller. There are so many fun things to do in the summer and we are just loving it so far.

It has been a bit chaotic around the house as Jeff prepares for what we hope is his last exam and I work through my big projects. Each night after we put Faith to bed, we both retreat to our corners of the house (or caves as I like to refer to them) to get to work on our respective projects. We will be so glad when he's done and just PRAY that he passes....all prayers are welcome! So I will say that maybe I've been a bit on edge with this whole dynamic going on but I'm still trying to remember even in the super stressful parts that I am grateful and happy. Sometimes my stress gets the best of me which leads to some possible tears or even anger, but I'm doing my best to keep it in check. Faith is a big help with that too as it's pretty hard to get or stay upset when I look at those beautiful blue eyes and that adorable little toothy grin.

I feel very lucky to have some great projects right now, though I am dealing with the fear for a second time in my career of not getting paid for work done. I could hunt this guy down and let him have a peace of my mind, but I'm hoping that it will work out and he'll pay up.....this is the difficult aspect of this business though. So hoping for some good stuff for the weekend ahead, for a passing exam, a paycheck, and generally some great family time!

I Can Do This....Right?!!

Be careful what you wish for--that statement seems to hold true a lot these days! I wished for Faith to walk and while this milestone has brought us great joy, it has also brought about a very active and very wiggly little toddler that just does not want to hold still. I wished for some work to come in, and though I am ALWAYS grateful for it I am now faced yet again with the feeling of panic that plagues me as I figure out how the heck I will get it all done. Let me expand a bit!

Faith has been loving life and exploring the world around her. It's a really cool feeling to watch her little eyes light up as she discovers new things everyday and gets better use of her legs becoming an expert (though still stumbling a bit) walking little girl! To that though, I will say that she has become a bit mishevious. Not a bad thing and certainly not unexpected but I can't keep up with her sometimes. I had to actually leave Church early as Faith was not having the "sit still and listen to mommy" that I was trying to spew. In spite of the snacks, books, and "interesting toys" that cluttered the floor around us, she was just done. That's the way it goes these days, and I'm trying to get used to it and learn a little mommy patience.

Every stage brings some awesome things and some new challenges so that's where we're at. We also purchased our first of many zoo memberships--seems to be a rite of passage in the young family crowd. She loved being there and seeing the animals so I suspect that we'll be spending some great time there--hopefully not just with me chasing her around the grounds!

I am now faced with several projects which is fantastic and I am always so grateful for the work in this competitive marketplace. However when I make my ever growing weekly "to do list", I find that I am a bit overwhelmed. I'm looking at about 65 articles a week for the next three weeks so I'm a little overwhelmed, but still eternally grateful. I will say I think that's why we drink the "mommy juice" as my friend calls it--wine does help a bit on the weekends! So back to the computer and coming up with some revolutionary content to fill all of these articles. Do they really think I know what I'm doing? Do I?

Time Flies

It was so nice to have a few days to just hang out with one of my best friends in the world! I enjoyed our chat time and all the fun things we had planned, and it was sure nice to take a few days off of work. Now I'm back to it and it's always such a let down when it's all over--I always hate that part! I must say that it's always such a joy to see your good friends interact with your baby, particularly the friends that have known you forever and seen you through everything, including wearing the lampshade on your head at parties.

Watching my friend (and I've experienced this several times over) interact and play with my little girl is something truly amazing. To see somebody who knows you so well share in this next and very important chapter of your life is something very special, and I always take a snapshot in my mind to have that as a nice little memory, particularly one that I can share with Faith someday. Some of the people that I've grown up being closest to were great friends of my mom's, and I hope to share that with Faith someday too!

I'm about to begin a couple of larger projects though of course I worry until I see that the money has been funded and everything is officially in gear......who am I kidding, I worry until the check clears and the work is complete! So I'm bracing myself and enjoying the calm before the storm working on a few things here and there. We are so anxious for Jeff to take his exam and PRAY that he will pass so he can just be done. It will be nice to enjoy summer together as a family too, everything is just so much more enjoyable now that Faith is old enough to get it. Just a couple more weeks and then hopefully we can kick back and enjoy summer together!

Finally...Relief!!

I did it! I finished the big project, got some work done on a few other projects, and am feeling more like my old self. I even changed out our closets and am getting close to having the house in order for company this weekend. I finally feel like I can breath a sigh of relief (and perhaps enjoy a nice glass of wine!) without worrying about what's next. I'm working on lining up some new projects but am otherwise feeling good and hoping to enjoy a nice long weekend with the family and one of my very best friends in the world!!

Faith is an adorable little stinker lately! So fun and so energetic (mommy can hardly keep up with her! ) but just learning to test her limits. It's pretty hard to get upset when she smiles and giggles at me when I try to discipline her, but we're getting there one day at a time. I swear I say this to my friends all the time, but these are the parts of parenthood that nobody tells you about. She's saying more and more everyday, I'm loving learning her new vocabulary as she builds it. It's a truly satisfying and wonderful phase, even though the antics can make mommy ready for that nice glass of wine at the end of a long day. (I've earned it after all of this hard work, haven't I?!) We're praying that daddy passes his last test that he's studying so hard for but I think that we've all earned some nice relaxation time this weekend. Particularly when I look at just how busy summer is shaping up to be. So for now, I will sit back, look around at my nice neat house and relish in the fact that I've worked my butt off and now can enjoy more time with my little trouble maker!!

Just Exhausted

Oh wow, my head is just swimming as I sit here in bed writing this. I did it! I got my biggest project done after far too many hours and far too many tears. It was grueling, tedious, and I am so glad it's done. I think that Faith is too, we both just seem so much more relaxed. We took a nice walk to Starbucks (of course) today and just enjoyed some mommy daughter time together to celebrate mommy's big project. It was awesome! The sun was shining and now if I can just get through a few more smaller projects this week, I will be a happy woman.

Faith is saying so many words, it's simply amazing how much she's picking up. She's repeating and making an attempt to say a ton of different things. She was repeating Fred saying "MOVE" to me, and they were both cracking up--like father like daugther! She's been saying "cup", "car" and the list goes on--this is a really exciting time as we see her just thriving. It's a lot of work but a lot of fun and I can tell that she's going to be a funny kid. She may dance like her mommy but humor can always make up for the things that we lack, right?

So glad to have some of the stress behind me, especially as summer is almost upon us. It's looking like another busy summer and we're really excited to share some memories with Faith as she's so alert and aware now. Mommy is of course hoping for some fun times with the adults too, but these days that comes secondary in nature. I now need to collapse and zone out to some reality shows but am hoping that more fantastic projects are just around the corner.

Overcoming and Overwhelming

Yet another mommy meltdown! Not a big surprise as I am under a huge amount of pressure with this project, but I hate when I give into it. I'm trying, one day at a time. Faith is of course adorable and fun as usual, but also learning to test the limits. There's a part of me that wants to bust out laughing when she shakes her head at me and throws her food on the floor, but then I know that the part of me that gets upset because that's not good behavior needs to win out. I'm trying to figure her out as she's trying to figure me out. In some ways, having a toddler is kind of like the newborn phase all over again as we are meeting each other in a whole new light. I'm trying to roll with it, but if you know me, you know that's not one of my specialties. We'll get there!

I'm making headway on this project but I can't wait for it to be done. I've been at this stinking kitchen table for like three days straight and I am fried. My dear mom forced me to get out for a little fresh air today because I was crying over nothing this morning. Okay we've established that I'm emotional at times, but even I know a mommy meltdown when I'm in the midst of it. When Faith gave me a hug and a kiss today saying "hi mama" as she does to everyone and everything these days, I couldn't help but smile. I got a hold of myself, gave myself a little kick in the ass, and got my head on straight. There will be days like this and I know that I'm not the first mom (or the last) to get a little overwhelmed at times. I'm a lucky girl and I know it, just need to kick myself in the ass (and have a wine night with mom) sometimes to make myself shape up!

Not Giving In

I had a fabulous Mother's Day yesterday!! Faith (with daddy's help) sent me some beautiful flowers and got me an adorable cookbook on some of my favorite foods that I've always wanted to learn to make. Then her and daddy took Grandma and I out to breakfast and spent a day of relaxation and family time over at my sister's. It was wonderful!! The weekend overall was just amazing and we had a wonderful time together, I swear some of our favorite nights are just relaxing all together. It was just perfect!

And now....it's back to reality! I haven't had much time to blog, don't really right now but needed some sort of a break. I've been working at this kitchen table for about 8 hours now trying to chip away at this project. I keep thinking of the sense of accomplishment and nice paycheck I will get when it's all said and done, and I try to get motivated. But wow is it hard sometimes! I can feel myself getting frustrated and feeling as though I will never finish, but I will not give into it. I will stay on top of this even though I want to run far away from the laptop crying, and I keep Faith as my tiny little motivator. I've gotten a lot done but I have a ways to go, I just want it to be over and move onto the next project. I'm trying, trying to stay on top of it and not cave to the feelings of frustration. I haven't even had time to return calls or emails to friends let alone look into that fun summer getaway that we've been wanting to plan. I forgot to put on makeup today and am late in making both Faith and McGwire's next appointments, but I WILL NOT give in. I will finish this up and stay on top of it, and I will let her sweet little face be my motivator.

Ugh, now I get a break only to figure out what's for dinner! It's really never ending, is it? But it's all good, this is all good stuff and nothing for me to get upset (or complain) about!!