Give Me Something Good!!

I won't lie, I'm in a bit of a downward spiral right now! Nothing new, just the current circumstances getting me down. I'm plenty busy, but just feeling so low right now. I keep trying to pick myself up by saying GOOD THINGS, but it doesn't seem to be helping. I suppose that it's natural to go through days and stages like this amidst a pretty crappy situation, but I hate it when I can't seem to pick myself up right now. I'm down on everything.....and I need to change it around soon.

I suppose that I have to look at my blessings....first and foremost Faith of course! I must say that since our trip she has picked up A LOT of new words and is repeating a ton. I listened to her actually repeat most of the letters in the alphabet yesterday and nearly fell off my chair. She's my cutie pie, seriously my little "angel baby" as I tell her each and every night before I put her down to sleep. We're having fun with her, but I worry about how we will be able to provide for her in the future or what this awful situation is going to mean for us in the future. I just hope that it all works out, most especially for her sake.

I also need to remember and look at the fact that I haven't had to bid on a new job in weeks. That has NEVER happened in my freelance writing career. It tells you just how busy I am, and though I am grateful I would be lying if I didn't report that I've had a couple of mommy meltdowns under the pressure. Perhaps it all just gets to me sometimes, but it's a whole lot to take in. I miss the days when I would spend a couple of hours on work or simply work through nap time and then enjoy the rest of the day with her. I am suffering through what I am sure many moms struggle with.....the balance! I love the work and am certainly grateful for the funds right now, but I hate to miss precious moments with her---even if I am thanfully still in the same house as her.

So I write today in hopes of getting a sign, of finding that there is something wonderful ahead, praying that one of these days something great is going to happen and that we can get back on our feet and again begin to hopefully enjoy a bit of normalcy! Oh I so hope it happens soon and I can actually be me again!