Silver Lining

Okay so yesterday was not my proudest moment of my freelance career. I think that I handled it well for me, didn't really get too angry and not even that many tears......so that's not bad in Mary world! I had my first negative interaction with a client and it ended with the client cancelling the project. I felt really stupid but in the end it all worked out! It was clearly a mismatch and nothing more and both of us walked away on good terms. So I suppose that I should consider myself lucky that this is the first time it's happened and pray that I can just write it off as a learning experience. Other than that, praying that more work comes in as I've had such a good run and now I need more to come my way. It always works out somehow so I'm trying not to stress too much!

Faith still isn't walking but is getting dangerously close. She's talking up a storm and really trying to do things, I notice that more and more everyday. She's trying to brush her hair, she was doing "Itsy Bitsy Spider" in her own way in class today--I truly have a toddler on my hands now. It's amazing and scary all at the same time. Is this really my baby that is already 14 months old?! I had heard so many times how fast it goes and I'll admit that I kind of brushed this off as cliche. It's so true! I feel like it was just yesterday that she was born and in the blink of an eye here she is my little side kick. Everything is so much more fun and enjoyable when she's a part of it. I will hate to leave her when we go on our trip in a couple of weeks but I know that Grandma will take great care of her.

So yes the career aspect may be in a bit of a stall mode right now, but Faith is ALWAYS my little silver lining. How can I not look at life in general more positively when I've got her at my side?!! I am a very lucky woman and trying everyday to remember that no matter how crazy things get!

She Keeps Me Going

So we all have bad days and I as you know tend to succumb to the "mommy meltdowns" from time to time. I'm not proud of them but I'm human and sometimes I take a step back and realize that I am surely balancing a lot on my plate. I LOVE every minute of it and can't imagine my life any different and pray that I never have to, but some days can be hectic to say the least. I can get especially frantic at either end of the business cycle--when I'm working hard to bring in new projects and clients, or when I'm up against a deadline. It's enough to frazzle anyone sometimes, but WELL worth it!!

Just about the time that I get so frustrated and feel like I can't do it, I look into those big blue eyes. I then get the power to know that I CAN and WILL do this because in the end it's all for her. All of my fears and frustrations and stress is manageable because it means I get to be home with her. Seeing her smile and say new "words" and hopefully to see her take her first steps, I am here with her so it's worth the sometimes struggle. Thank God for perspective and my ability to gain some when I need it because she is worth every second of it! Thank God too that I have such an amazing support system with my fantastic husband, amazing mom, and family and friends that make my life so wonderful. I can do this--I WILL get new work, I will stay positive, and it will all work out. That's what I mutter over and over, along with a lot of prayer. I swear that God is sick of hearing from me sometimes!!

So onto another weekend that will hopefully entail a lot of family fun time!! 4 weeks until our first trip away from the little darling and though I'm excited, I am very nervous to leave her. I've never been away from her for more than one night so this will be challenging to say the least. I love her so much and every day I get to be a mom to this amazing little being is such a blessing! Okay so there's my positive attitude for the day and now it's time to start the weekend off on the right foot. Yeah for Fridays!!

Status Quo

I recently had a conversation with my sister recently where we decided that status quo or in my words just being boring was just fine. After drama and worries galore in the recent past, I am just fine with just being boring. We are five weeks out from our trip and I'm really excited but of course nervous. Having never left Faith for more than overnight, I know that it will be ahrd to leave her and be away from her. I know that she will be in good hands with Grandma/Nana but I will miss her dearly. Hopefully we can still have a good time and then I can rush home to her, probably never to leave her again!!

Nothing new to report on the job front unfortunately. I did get in a couple of smaller jobs so that's something, but nothing big like I would love to land. I know that sounds as if I'm getting picky but I have been quite spoiled lately with bigger jobs and of course that means bigger pay in the end too. I just want things to keep rolling in so that I can continue to contribute!!

Faith still isn't walking but I keep thinking it's going to happen anyday! She's a ton of fun and has the facial expressions and mannerisms to make me think that she's going to be a funny kid!! She's such a joy and I am just one lucky momma!!

Hopefully by the next post I will have some great work and we will have a walking little girl, but for now status quo is just fine. Being happy and healthy is never overrated!!

I'm Trying, I'm Trying!!

Okay so it's one of those weeks that I'm trying hard to avoid! I'm trying so hard to remain positive and not let my negative thoughts get the best of me, but admitedly that is really hard sometimes. I'm still waiting to get in some new work and of course my negative thoughts allow me to start worrying. I start freaking out thinking that I will never get in the work that I want or need and wonder how I will stay on top of things. I've been really lucky lately to have so much work and such great projects going on at the same time, and now here I sit in the "in between" stage that I have grown accustomed to. I'm trying to keep positive and to KNOW that the work will come and that I will not be without projects for too long. What can I say, I am still a work in progress? I'm trying out that Law of Attraction thinking......it WILL work!!

I am also trying not to get discouraged that Faith is not walking just yet. Here I sit a week away from her 14 month birthday and I just thought for some reason that she'd be walking by now. She's cruising along so I don't think that there's anything to really worry about, but I'm just anxious to see the day where she takes off into real steps. I know I shoudn't wish away my days so I try to keep perspective of that all the time. She's such a happy little girl and really quite easy most of the time, so if she's a late walker then I need to just relax and enjoy everything else at this point. I'm trying, really I am!! I've always known that my biggest character flaw (and I do have plenty of them) has been my lack of patience, and here I sit reminding myself of that. I think that being a mom and of course a mompreneur pushes your patience sometimes and teaches you what it's all about. So here's my lesson of the day--be patient and the results I want will come. It sounds good, right? Now I just need to live it, so hopefully by the time of my next post I will be more at peace and of course learning to be much more patient!!

Positive Energy

It's hard to stay positibve in this economy and state of affairs, but we as a family are really trying. I made it my vow during Lent to focus on being a more positive AND grateful person, because I could really use some help in both areas. I get into the habit of complaining and sometimes feeling as though the world is against me, and then I stop to look at Faith's beautiful little face and realize that nothing is that bad. Even when she doesn't feel well, she's a total trooper! She's still cutting the same two molars AND has a cold, but yet she's still smiley and sweet. I got lucky without a doubt!!! I hope that happens the next time around whenever that is.

There's so many bad things happening to people we know and in the world, you can easily get swept up into it. I am trying really hard however to be a positive role model for Faith. Knowing that she really doesn't understand just yet, but that I need to get into the habit of showing a positive attitude and a willingness to embrace life. My mom always told me that it takes just as much effort to smile as it does to frown--so true!! The same holds true for my work--I have plenty to keep me busy right now but for the next round I am just anxiously waiting for something to pop. I know that it will, I believe I will get more work, and as I told Jeff the other night I am convinced that my positive attitude and confidence are the reason why I've been able to get work to this point. Here I am a year later and feeling good about clients and workload. Let's just hope that it continues!!

So another week and hopefully not full of obstacles, but rather good things. Here's hoping!!

Trying to Keep Fear in Check

I have always been a worrier! I can't think of a time in my life when I didn't worry, it's just my nature. Sometimes that does me wel and most of the time it just makes my wind wander to scary places and causes my body to tense up. It's really no wonder that I have stomach problems at all. However as a parent, I find that I could be consumed with worry constantly if I let myself. Particularly in this scary for everyone economy where times are so uncertain and rough, and none of us know what the future holds. I could let myself get swept away and really consumed with worry, but I'm trying to talk myself out of it. I would be a total nut job if I gave into my worry as much as it comes up. I do however worry about what the world will be like as my daughter gets older. I think as a parent of how scary it is with all the job loss, tight financial times that everyone faces, and of course war and crime.....it really can overtake you if you let it.

I'm finding however that it serves me better as a parent and a person to let some of the worry go from time to time. Thinking positive thoughts and reassuring myself that "it will all be okay" goes a lot further. I think that finding these coping mechanisms early on in your children's lives can do you well becaues there will always be things to worry about, and the problems will only get bigger. Right now I worry about getting more work, my husband's job, our finances, and of coruse Faith walking and talking as she should. Think ahead about 5 years and I'll be worrying about how she's doing in school or if she's keeping up.....then it will be if she's going to make the team....then her dating....then getting into college. Okay so the lesson to me today is to try and get a handle on my fears and concerns. I recently coined a phrase in our house--"turn your fears and worries into gratitude and happiness". Hard one to live by but I did like how it sounded! Now I need to live it, so here's hoping that "it all works out"!

Good Bargains and Steady Work

I have always loved a good bargain, but never so much as since I had Faith. When you consider how short of a time they wear a certain size of clothes or play with specific toys, it's just not worth paying full price. I have officially been in love with the Mom 2 Mom sales since Faith was a baby and have plans to hit them the next two weekends. I am amazed at my mad skills when I hit these sales now and when I look at the retail prices, I feel pretty good about myself. I also learned that Ebay can be quite helpful, particularly for items such as Stride Rite shoes. When I recently went into the store recently to get Faith measured the woman looked at me in all seriousness and said "the shoes you want for her at this stage would bve $45 and she'd wear them for about 3 months". I think I laughed out loud a bit and thought to myself, do I want to write some articles to fund that little purchase? Um no, so I now enlist the services of Ebay and Mom 2 Mom sales!!

I have felt quite lucky to have steady work come in lately, and this makes all the hard work worthwhile. It allows me to feel like I'm contributing and of course helps with the spending money for our upcoming trip to Miami. I'm super excited for our first trip away but have never had so much anxiety for a getaway at the same time. I will miss Faith dearly and don't know how I will do with leaving her, though I know that she will be in good hands with Grandma! I just bid on several jobs today and am keeping my fingers crossed that some of them come in. It's a tough market out there, I see so much more competition lately which I'm sure has to do with the economy. I'm fortunate that I've had some good write ups from clients though so let's hope that they serve me well in getting more work. More work = more money for the Frederick household = more bargain shopping = happiness for everyone!!

First for Everything

We're coming off yet another great weekend in the Frederick house! It was a perfect blend of fun and family bonding time--and these are the weekends that are always hard to see end. It seems that Sunday night comes too soon and Faith (and I of course) hate to see Daddy go back to work for another week. Though at the same time SO VERY thankful that Daddy has a job to go back to, so in the end it all works out! Faith seemed especially happy this weekend which is so rewarding and fun! Though she has clapped before, this is the first weekend that she really started clapping with meaning and knowing what she was doing. I will say that now we're yelling with glee "YEAH!!" and clapping our hands together about every twenty minutes, but such is the joy of parenthood. She is saying words, many of which are unrecognizable but still trying very hard to get her point across. She is just a blast right now and truly makes parenthood the most amazing adventure ever! Very very close to walking and sporadically breaking into 2-3 steps here and there, but not quite there yet.

Then we move onto my "fun filled, never a dull moment, love it one day and eternally frustated the next, making good money but feel like I'm jumping through constant hoops" business. Oh yeah it's all of that and more! I LOVE what I do so I try very hard to focus on all the good and not get bogged down with the bad. However there are days such as today where I can easily lose sight of it. When I have the client that says "oh I wanted you to write it THIS way and not THAT, but I guess I didn't mention that up front"......oh it makes me question if it's worth the money in that instance. It's all good and I'm grateful for all of the clients, but as with any business, you can really wonder how much your time is worth sometimes. I especially love the clients who readily admit that they don't know how to write, but they are usually the ones that have the most "helpful hints" to offer up. All of it is great experience but hey I'm just trying to keep it real here. So for now, let's hope for more "hands off" clients and that the work keeps rolling in. And as it's Monday we look forward to all the fun planned for the week ahead, and there's always some of that to be had!!